


clinging to not getting sentimental

by avapacifica



Series: October Writing Challenge 2020 [18]
Category: Heathers (1988)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Crushes, Embarrassment, F/F, Feelings Realization, Guilt, Happy Ending, Mirrors, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Canon, Regret, Secret Crush, Self-Reflection, Worry, shitty promposal teehee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27095647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avapacifica/pseuds/avapacifica
Summary: it's 1989 and everyone now has an answering machine. heather leaves a message for veronica, and embarrasses herself during the entire journey
Relationships: Heather Duke/Veronica Sawyer
Series: October Writing Challenge 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948126
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	clinging to not getting sentimental

**Author's Note:**

> Day 18:Message  
> title is from an Arctic Monkeys song  
> this takes place after the last scene in the movie, or at least the same day

Heather is looking in the mirror, which she has been doing a lot of lately, but not in this context. Her fingers brush over the ashen kiss on her cheek, not smearing it, but definitely transferring its contents to the skin that touches it. She hasn’t washed it off yet. There’s a burning need for something to be done, but even Heather doesn’t know what that something is, or what’s inspiring the need for it. Her and Veronica’s conversation plays on a loop in her head, she could probably repeat it aloud.

‘ _ Veronica, you look like hell.’  _ She hadn’t meant for it to sound so harsh, it came from a place of concern. Heather was shaken, at the time no one had known what was going on. In come’s Veronica, hair mussed and face covered in what could have only been caused by an explosion or fire. 

‘ _ Heather my love, there’s a new sheriff in town.”  _ Hours later, Heather’s mind is focusing in on the ‘my love’ bit, as if Veronica was a boy to be gushing over. She probably hates her right now, which Heather is trying to convince herself of. No use recognizing a crush on someone that has been harboring a secret despise of you. She had thought her and Veronica’s relationship had been different than that of the other Heathers, maybe it had been once. She had gone and ruined it though, as if power in some meaningless high school was more important than her best friend.

She sits on her bed, biting her nails. Chandler’s voice sounds in her head, telling her it’s disgusting. She can’t escape her chastising nature, even in death. Whether she’s eating, working, even existing, she fears she’ll always have that voice in her head. 

Duke’s phone is ringing off the hook. She wasn’t worth all of these people’s attention. Being Queen Bee is exhausting, and she just isn’t cut out for it. If Chandler hadn’t died she wouldn’t even be in this position, there was clearly a reason she was number two. A lot of girls like her thrive in high school. Honestly, Heather can’t wait to graduate. More than anything, Duke wants it to be Veronica calling her. She doesn’t have to check her answering machine to know that she hadn’t. The ball is in Heather’s court, but she wouldn’t even know where to start.

Still, she finds herself dialling Veronica’s number. It’s one she memorized long ago, without really meaning to. She hesitates before the last number, but there’s no point in putting it off. Veronica had got to be home. With everyone as shaken as they are, she wouldn’t be anywhere else. The phone rings five times in her ear, and she’s almost relieved when no one picks up. She could hang up now, and there would be no consequences. It occurs to her though, that she’s not going to get the strength to do this again. There’s a beep, and Heather is being recorded. 

“Hey Ronnie.” She fumbles out awkwardly. “It’s Heather. Duke. I just wanted to talk, apologize really. I’ve been a massive bitch lately, I know.” She sighs, this really isn’t much to go on. “Could you call me back? I really don’t want to lose you.” The phone signals that the message is over, she spent too much time searching for the right words. Heather prays Veronica listens to it before her parents get home in about two hours. If she doesn’t get a response, she might just have to go over there and delete it personally. 

Back on her bed she goes, biting her nails as far as they’ll go. She’ll need a new manicure by the time the week is up. Some start to bleed, to the point where she just puts her hands under her pillow, and listens to the radio to distract herself. Heather can hear her clock ticking, reminding her of every second that she spilled her heart out and didn’t get an answer for it.

She really is debating on whether or not she should go to Veronica’s, but without proper direction it would likely go as bad as the phone call did. All that changes though, when Veronica appears at her window, knocking on the glass like it’s the most casual thing. Heather turns down the radio, and opens it. 

Veronica climbs through, and goes straight for her bed. She has clearly showered and changed, which only makes Heather feel foolish in her outfit from earlier and soot on her face. She takes a seat next to her and prays for a positive outcome.

“I guess I should start by saying I’m sorry.” Heather doesn’t look at her eyes, instead a point in the distance, terrified of what Veronica could be thinking. “You don’t have to accept it of course, I don’t expect you to. I’ve been terrible lately. Heather died and I just became her.” Veronica is still wearing the scrunchie that had been passed around far too much recently. She slips it out of her hair, and tosses it in a nearby trash can. 

“You did do that.” Veronica comments. “I liked when you weren’t Heather, when you were you.” Heather did too. Despite how much she hated herself, it had been simpler. She wishes there was an in between. 

“All I want is to be popular  _ and _ nice to people.” It may sound petty, but it’s all Duke knows. If she’s not the center of attention, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Though it’s impossible to admit, she’d settle for losing the support of the school and just being the center of Veronica’s world. 

“Then why can’t you?” She asks, and if she goes with her unspoken desire, maybe she could be. If only Veronica was hers. Instead of expressing this, Heather shrugs. Veronica sits back on the other’s bed, against the headboard, and pats the spot next to her. Heather joins her, and lets her head fall on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. With a face like yours, you could be a do-gooder saint and people would still think you’re cool.” Heather is grateful Veronica can’t see her face, she’s a blushing mess.

“Would you think I’m cool?”

“It’d make you even cooler.” Consider her a do-gooder saint then. Anything to get Veronica to see her in that light, to fix her image in the girl’s mind.

“How’re you doing?” She asks, because Veronica has suffered the most today, and the conversation really shouldn’t be focused on Heather right now. “I saw the news, I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

“All things considered, I’m pretty relieved.” She laughs. “Maybe that’s the wrong thing to say, or the shock talking, but I’m glad this is all over. Is that bad?” Heather can’t believe she’s the one being asked if something is bad or not.

“No, I don’t think so. Was he really that fucked up?”

“Yeah…” Veronica trails off. She could explain everything, and maybe she will tell Duke all of it someday. But it’s still fresh. Not even just JD today, but Chandler and Kurt and Ram before him. It’s too much for her shoulders, let alone someone else's. “He was.” Veronica looks at Heather for the first time since they changed positions, and falls in love with her a little herself. Her face ought to match the change she went through.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Veronica offers, grabbing some makeup wipes from nearby. She pulls one out, ready to wipe off any debris from Heather’s face, but her hand is covering it.

“Only if you promise to kiss me again.” Heather is burning even while she’s still saying it. She doesn’t mean for it to sound as it did. Even when Veronica smiles and promises to, her embarrassment remains. She takes the tissue and wipes her face gently, cupping Heather’s face with her other hand. The care she’s putting in doesn’t feel like friendship.

“I know you have plans for this prom, but what about our senior one?” Heather asks. She never says the words ‘will you go with me?”, hoping that Veronica gets the implications. It’s so far off, and probably stupid, that Heather almost wishes she doesn’t.

“Heather, are you asking me on a date?” Duke freezes in place, her eyes wide open. It’s scary when Veronica puts it in such clear terms. Her hand is still gently against her cheek, and she most definitely can feel how warm it is. “Because if so, the answer is yes.”  _ Oh thank god.  _ Relief is always the sweetest, second only to maybe Ronnie.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! kudos and comments are always appreciated, feedback makes my day!


End file.
